“I’ve got country in my genes.”
Loretta Lynn
I lived in the suburbs for a year now, after about six years on a farm. I grew up in the suburbs, yes, but it never felt like home. Although I did spend much of my time on horse farms, which perhaps influenced me a bit. But even before I ever rode horses, I wanted to live in the country. Then, I finally did. And then I had to move for reasons outside of my control. Most of the people in my life do not really understand why I have had such a hard time with the transition, and have even teetered on the edge of a depression for the past year. But the country life has just always been in my blood. Living in the suburbs feels so unnatural.
I don’t fit in in the city, or suburbs. The area I live in now is a super fancy pants area, and I feel like a real country bumpkin driving around in my 2004 Dodge Ram pickup. I feel very out of place with all of the Teslas and Maseratis, that is for sure. It’s weird being able to hear all of the neighbors. People look at me funny when I go by Target in my riding clothes. Maybe they did when I was growing up, and I just never noticed it. People are rude and pushy everywhere I go. And life moves way too fast. I can’t remember the last time I saw the stars at night.
I get sad everytime the seasons change. This spring has been particularly tough because it was always so magical at the farm. The grass would be so green, there would be wildflowers everywhere, the fireflies would start to appear on my nightly walks to check on the horses.
Even as I write this, I would rather sit sweating on the porch in this nearly ninety degree weather than go inside. I keep chickening out of getting a new car because I do not want to give up my old truck, even though everyone keeps telling me how impractical it is to have a truck now. I of course still have the horses. That will never change. Come hell or high water, I will always find a way to have horses.
I think that I will also find a way to live the country life again. But for now, I will just have to keep being the neighborhood hillbilly in this uniform suburban area because though you can take me out of the country, you just can’t take the country out of me.
Modern Farm Making 